Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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