I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I understand Curling. That high.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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