Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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