u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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