is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize