i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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