The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i now understand why vodka
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
