I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
