There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
