I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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