We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
