Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize