just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
