you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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