i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
