Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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