this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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