love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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