how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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