eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
