so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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