I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
