I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize