the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
