Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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