What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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