We won't sleep together?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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