I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
