I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
