Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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