We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
