Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
