We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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