I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im holly from the hills drunk
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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