Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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