I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
