Someone shit on the floor
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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