Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
