I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
