Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
