Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
