I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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