Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
God, I missed his penis.
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