You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
