sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
