a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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