Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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