this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
