I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
