you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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