p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize