Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
