Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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