Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
