I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
