you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
