There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My pussy is not your playground.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
