i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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