I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
