Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
