id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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