I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
